Where are you from?
This is a post I began writing - yikes - a whole month ago. So, the time references are off, but the relevance is the same.
Ok ok, and new year, new posting habits? Unlikely. :)
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Here’s a sample from the most frequent conversation I have with students whose classes I’m subbing in - mostly in the middle school, but occasionally high school too:
Student: “Where are you from?”
Me: “Westchester.”
S: “No, like, what country are you from?”
Me: “America.”
S: “Noooo, like, where are you from???”
[repeat above lines another one or two times. Eventually I help them out with a hint.]
Me: “Are you asking me what ethnicity I am?”
S: “YEAAAH - that! What’s your ethnicity?”
Me: “Ohhh, ok. In that case, Chinese and Irish.”
S: “Really? Wow, that’s cool....”
One of the most special things about my district its vast diversity. Perhaps because of this, the kids seem fascinated with trying to figure out “where I’m from.” Of course, phrasing the question this way is incorrect - when they ask me that, they’re really trying to ask about my ethnicity or heritage. I’m not phased by the question at all, in fact I welcome it and it’s one that I’ve been asked throughout my life. I’m proud to be 100% Chirish.
However, it’s really important to me that the kids understand the difference between “where are you from?” and “what is your heritage?” It’s a question that they themselves may be answering their whole lives, as well. And living in a hugely diverse community, I think it’s imperative that they have an awareness of and sensitivity toward culture, origin, and, yes, race. I think it’s good that I can have this conversation so frequently. I probably have it at least once a day, sometimes two to three times.
Another frequent conversation I have is initiated when I hear a student speaking what I call “gibberish Chinese” - you know what I’m talking about, for example, “ching chang chong” and “meee Chineeese” (usually delivered quite loudly). This bugged the hell out of me as a kid because it was often directed at me and shaded with some kind of bully-ish tone. I always thought it was ignorant and offensive. (I think most everyone would agree that it is, but I think there are also some people who would willingly ignore it, and say you really can’t do anything about it, and that it’s not really that important anyways. I can’t accept that as valid.)
So, this is a conversation I have a lot as well - I probably went through it at least twice this week while in the middle school. When I hear a student going through this gibberish talk, I engage it right away, privately (not in front of the whole class, unless the behavior was clearly witnessed by the entire class). I don’t take a scolding tone: in almost every case, I know it’s because the kid is simply not aware of how insensitive this talk can be. In just the same way that students need to be taught about algebra or Shakespeare, so must they be taught about cultural awareness.
So, instead of scolding or reprimanding, I calmly walk over to the student, get down to his or her level, and explain why he or she can’t say that. My expression is one of concern. Here was one talk I gave to a student, more or less, from yesterday. He is in 7th grade. I was intentionally aiming for an informal, but firm, tone:
“Hey, look, I really want you to know, some people might be, you know, offended. It’s just not nice because it’s kind of like making fun of a language, and you’re not actually saying anything in Chinese or Japanese or anything like that. Do you know what the word ‘derogatory’ means? ... yeah, some people might think that’s derogatory, and might be hurt by it, ok? So just let’s not talk like that.”
I try to be very careful to not imply that the student is a bad person for saying this. I don’t believe that. All students need guidance about what’s appropriate and inappropriate, and need to know about the impact of their words.
